


Coulson's Brats

by underscore65



Category: Marvel Cinematic Universe, The Avengers (Marvel Movies), Thor (Movies)
Genre: Adopted Siblings, Alternate Universe, Darcy and Bucky Siblings, Family Fluff, Gen, Kid Bucky, Kid Clint, Kid Darcy, Kid Fic, Kid Natasha, Mayhem at SHIELD, Parent Phil Coulson, Prompt Fic
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2014-04-01
Updated: 2014-04-06
Packaged: 2018-01-17 19:49:31
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 3
Words: 3,242
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/1400329
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/underscore65/pseuds/underscore65





	1. Before the Mayhem

**Author's Note:**

  * For [Caitriona_3](https://archiveofourown.org/users/Caitriona_3/gifts).



**A Prompt By Caitriona_3**

 

 

Phil Coulson hated it when the baby sitter called in sick. Especially in the holidays, especially when he was so busy at work. 

 

But when you are stuck between a rock and a hard place, and you have exhausted every single other baby sitter in the town, and the only reason you had this one so long was because Pepper had some secret special way with the kids, The only other option you have is to take you kids into work with you, and hope and pray to all the gods out there, from this age and any age ever, that they don't screw around too much.

 

Not that his kids were bad kids. No Coulson believed they were some of the best. They rarely ever fought with each other, even though they were from different backgrounds. What with Clint being adopted as an 7 year old, Natasha aged 6 and brother and sister James (or Bucky as he had demanded) and Darcy when he was 8 and she was 4

 

And they could be counted to stick up for each other. Exhibit A the other day at school when a group of boys had cornered Darcy and started picking on her before they were brought to an abrupt halt by her 3 siblings - that had been a tough day at the principals office which had resulted in 2 suspension and a warning from the school, plus ice cream as reward from Phil.

 

And so maybe taking them into the office wouldn't be too bad, Phil mused to himself as he set about waking the kids up. Sure the first time had been a disaster, but that was 6 years ago, surely they had matured past that. Phil is psyching himself into believing that this would be a good decision when he knocks on Darcy's door.

 

Knowing that he will be required to come back to her room to ensure she is in fact awake and out of bed, Phil walks over to the 10 yr old, smiling at her peaceful sleep face. Reaching out he shakes her shoulder gently and is greeted by a murmur and a grunt.

 

'Hey Darce, you gotta wake up now,' Phil whispers to her. 'Pepper is sick, so i am going to have to take you in to work with me today.'

 

Darcy groans, something that sounds a bit like 'too early' before rolling over and snuggling back under her covers.

 

Phil grins at her reaction before going to her cupboard, and grabbing out clothes for her to wear, making sure to include long pants and a jacket because of how cold it gets at his work.

 

Next Phil tries Bucky, who is next door to Darcy and probably currently awake. Being 14, Bucky went against the grain of normal teenagers, preferring early mornings to sleep-ins. Phil sticks his head in the door and finds Bucky awake lying in bed starring at the ceiling.

 

'Your coming into the office with me today,' Phil told him. 'Get up dressed and pack a bag of things to keep you interested for the day.'

 

Bucky grinned at him, and Phil could almost see the devious thoughts running through his head.

 

'And no funny, business, not like last time. you need to set a better example for your sister.' Phil said sternly.

 

'You know shes the one that started most of it last time', Bucky drawled, grinning at Phil, who decided to just shake his head and leave the room.

 

Clint was obviously still asleep when Phil knocked on his door and he opened it, hair wild, eyes bleary. Phil repeated his instruction and warning he had given Bucky before reminding her. 'your on breakfast set up' and moving on to get Natasha.

 

Waking Natasha was easy a knock on the door was greeted with her opening it. Phil didn't need to repeat himself again, knowing she would have heard him tell one of the others. Natasha looked at him nodded once before disappearing back into her room to change.

 

It wasn't until half an hour later when they were all finished up with their breakfast and the kids were upstairs grabbing their bags filled with things to keep them entertained that Phil finally thought that maybe they could get through the day without any major mishaps.

 

 

**Boy he was wrong.**

 

 

 

 


	2. Getting into The Mayhem

 

 

 

As Coulson pulled into the underground parking garage of SHIELD HQ he took a deep breath. Turning and looking at the kids who were in the car he got them quiet before explaining.

 

'Now, I know this is last minute, but you guys need to be well behaved. I will drop you in a board room. You will stay there for 3 hours. I will come collect you for lunch. We will eat lunch together in the cafeteria. You will go back to the same board room for another 3 hours. You will not leave without permission. You will not annoy anyone who works here. You will not destroy any SHIELD equipment. Understood?'

 

All the 4 children grinned back at him, their practiced 'I am innocent' faces on.

 

'But what if i need to pee?' Bucky asked.

 

Phil gritted his teeth and replied. 'I will show you the bathroom, you will only leave to go there if necessary.'

 

"But what if there is a fire?' Darcy's question came next and Phil pinched the bridge of his nose.

 

'You will follow emergency protocol and stay safe.'

 

'But what if one of us gets sick?' Natasha asked.

 

Phil shook his head, 'Then you ask someone to come and get me and i will deal with it.'

 

'But what if there is an alien invasion and they come in and try to suck out our brains and make us their slaves while they try and take over the planet?' Clint gushed out getting caught up in his hypothetical.

 

Phil sighed, 'You will notify the nearest agent and not approach the situation. Got it?'

 

All 4 children seemed to realise the seriousness of the situation and nodded their heads, but their faces stayed the same suspicious smile. Coulson, out of ideas on what to make his kids agree to being well behaved got out of the car and checking that the kids had all their belongings, lead them to the elevator.

 

* * *

 

 

There are many different types of conference rooms at SHIELD, they vary in size, equipment, clearance and capabilities.

 

Say you want to brief a group of 50 new recruits, use Clearance Level 1 Room C, which come equipped with a multimedia projector and plenty of chairs.

 

Say you need to have a private discussion with the head of departments, try Clearance Level 5 Room Blue, with comfy padded chairs, a coffee machine and a fully functional touch screen display system.

 

Say you need a place to stash your children and have them be secure, out of the way and unable to break too much expensive equipment, try Clearance Level 4 Room 62, one of the old ones that has yet to be updated, with nothing above an old Tube TV and VCR player, with a lounge a large table and only one door that leads to a walkway which is frequented enough that Phil could trust his kids couldn't get into anything too big, but only by people with higher clearance so he could feel the children wouldn't be subjected to to many eyes.

 

The only problem was getting his kids to be able to be let into a level 4 room. Ever since the last disaster there had been a large red X over the names of Bucky, Clint, Natasha and Darcy, and so it was often hard for Phil to get them to be allowed to wait in the lobby for him to come down before heading home. But Phil had a secret weapon.

 

Jane Foster worked in the Labs at SHIELD. A close friend to Phil, one of a few people in the building that didn't seem to flinch in his presence and avoid eye contact, Jane had been invited around to the Coulson household many times over the past 3 years and so had built quiet a reputation with the children. Darcy in particular seemed in awe of the petite scientist. And so Phil called on a favour and had the Scientist get 4 Visitor passes cleared and ready for him.

 

To say those at the security desk were shocked when a 14 yr old, 13 yr old, 12 yr old and 10 yr old were Dr Fosters 'very-important-work-buddies-consults' would be an understatement. But the guards seemed to be new and didn't notice the kids as those marked 'Never-Again' in Fury's handwriting and so Coulson plucked the badges from their hands and clipped them onto the children's jackets before ushering them past.

 

* * *

 

 

It took 10 minutes to make the trip from the security desk to Room Blue, and the whole while Phil could see his children's eyes grow wider and wider as they took in the hustle and bustle of the HQ.

 

They got to the door which was unlocked by the scanning of Phil's badge. 

 

'Pay attention okay kids. Every time you open the door, you need to scan your badge. Every time one of you scans your badge i will get an alert. This means that if i see that one of you has decided to go to the toilet 10 times in 30 minutes, i will come down here to check it out okay. Now do not open the door for anyone else. If they have a right to be in here, they will be able to get in here. Settle yourselves down in here, you have snacks to last you for morning tea, i will be back in a couple of hours to pick you up for lunch. Any question?'

 

All the children shook their heads in synchronization, which in itself should have worried Phil, if he didn't know that they practiced it while he made dinner some nights.

 

'Okay, good job. Stay out of trouble, don't break anything and if you need me use the phone on the wall and dial 259, that the extension to my office, I will pick up. Okay.'

 

Another nod from the children was all Phil got before he had to leave to get to his office. 

 

Shaking his head as he walked away from the room, he could almost guess that before lunch he would be receiving angry phone calls from someone about the behavior of his children. But for now he had a tonne of paper work to go through, and they couldn't do that much damage, could they?

 


	3. Cleaning up the Mayhem

 

Coulson sat at his desk and took a deep breath, about three hours after he had entered his office. he was extremely pleased that the morning had been so productive, the exact opposite of what he was expecting when he discovered the children would have to be at HQ

 

But surprisingly, there had been no phone calls, no security warnings, no angry agents banging on his door, no bad smells wafting through the corridor, no Director demanding explanations or asking if its still too young to put them in training (the answer was and always will be YES). Instead, Coulson managed to have a peaceful happy morning behind his computer filling out paperwork and organizing various assignments for teams.

 

Standing up, he straightened his tie and picked up his jacket, before making his way out into the corridor and to the elevator to take him down to the room his children were being housed. 

 

Upon getting off the elevator, Phil was shocked at what appeared before his eyes. Scorched walls, broken windows and doors, paper everywhere. The carnage got worse and worse as he quickly made his way to Room 62. Coulson started to get worried and sped up when he saw the med team attending to a few agents that lined the hallways. Coming to a halt outside what used to be the conference room, Coulson found himself letting out a panicked breathe.

 

 

The room was gone. Well it was still kind of there, with some of the walls remaining, but most of it was destroyed. Phil found himself stuck between worry for his children, curiosity about what happened here and angry that it was probably their fault. 

 

Phil looked around to see whoever was in charge of the clean up of the mess. He approached the head Agent on the scene, who revealed little about what was happening, except that his children were still alive and Phil was required for a meeting with Director Fury. 

 

Still unsure as to what actually happened, but relieved his children were safe. Phil made his way back to the elevator before heading up to Director Fury's office.

 

* * *

 

 

The receptionist outside Fury's office smiled at him as he approached but gave no tell as to whether this was a good or bad meeting. Phil was getting his hopes up, judging by what he saw around Room 62, there was no way he would not be getting reprimanded for his children's actions. Phil knocked once on the door before he was called in by Fury.

 

Upon entering Phil noticed a few things.

 

He noticed Fury was not behind his desk as expected but sitting on the sofa over near his bookcase.

 

He noticed That his children were all in some way touching Fury, from Clint sitting so close to him on his side to Bucky sitting on the floor at his feet to Natasha laying across the back of the couch behind him to Darcy literally sitting on his lap.

 

He noticed Fury had a story book open in his lap and appeared to be reading to his children

 

He noticed their clothes were all slightly torn, covered in dust or scorched.

 

He noticed the bandage on Clint's ankle, the bruising on Natasha's cheek, the cut on Bucky's arm and the cast on Darcy's wrist.

 

Taking a deep breath, Phil compartmentalised all this new information before looking Fury directly in the eyes and saying,

 

'With all due respect sir, what on earth happened?'

 

Fury just chuckled, 'I told you years ago they should go into training. This just proves you got a couple natural talents on your hands.'

 

'Natural talents, from where i am standing, my children have destroyed an entire floor of this building. How is that a good thing?'

 

All the children, who had been watching the exchange gulped as their eyes widened. 

 

Darcy turned her head. 'You said you were going to get him here before he saw anything.' She said, her voice giving away that she had either been crying or singing loudly just before.

 

Feeling bad, Phil was quick to try to rectify scaring her, when it was obvious she was hurt. He went to her, gently lifting her off of Fury's lap and cradled her to his body, stroking her back softly. Phil sat down on the couch on the other side of Clint, who quickly rearranged himself to be cuddling up to Phil instead of Fury now he realised the story was over and Phil wasn't going to blow his head off. Natasha and Bucky both rearranged themselves, trying to give off the air that they didn't need Phil's comfort, while desperately actually wanting Phil's comfort.

 

Once the family were newly situated around Phil, he looked at Fury and in a calmer voice said.

 

'Explain, please, why do i get the feeling my children did something amazing today, and how did they managed to destroy a whole floor?'

 

'Because they did, and obviously you didn't go into the cafeteria, or records room or the roof area or the cargo bay or the garage.' Fury answered simply, before launching into a great story of practical jokes, damsel in distress', action sequences, secret rooms, silent alarms and how 4 children managed to single-handedly stop a enemy organisation breaking in, killing people and stealing classified information.

 

Phil sat dumbfounded. How could anyone ever process the idea that their children had come so close to danger and yet managed to win the day. An odd mixture of fear and pride seemed to swell in Phil's chest as Fury went on with his story.

 

When finally the story was told Phil looked down at the faces of his children, Darcy had almost asleep on his chest, and Clint was getting close. before drawing them all in for a big hug.

 

'I don't care what happens next time, if this is what happens when you come visit me at HQ i will just take a personal day off and stay home with you. I don't ever what to think about you kids being tin that kid of danger again. You got it?' Phil said, looking at each of his children individually waiting for an answer.

 

'Well see the thing is...' Bucky began.

 

'Fury asked us...' Clint stuttered out

 

'and We already sort of agreed to...' Natasha continued

 

'We are going to be SHIELD Agents' Darcy squealed happily.

 

And Phil was sure he was going to pass out. 'WHAT?' he shouted looking to Fury for conformation.

 

'They were good. I jumped ton an opportunity. Its nothing serious, they come in here once a week or a couple of times a month for training, self defense nothing above their level. Just preparation if they want to continue when they are older. No lock-in contracts, no blood sealed deals. More of a thank you for saving the day' Fury explained

 

Phil shook his head. 'Well if its alright with you Director, i would like to take the rest of the day off and not think about any of this until tomorrow. What do you think kids, Pizza and ice-cream for lunch?'

 

The kids all grinned and nodded their heads before standing up and grabbing their bags, which Phil hadn't noticed had been thrown into the corner of the room. 

 

As they exited the Directors office and walked down the corridor, Phil and the children passed a man in hand cuffs with a bad bump on his head and a scowl on his face. Noticing the children he growled and strained against the chains and 4 agents escorting him.

 

'You brats, Next time i will deal with you first.' He spat with venom.

 

Phil didn't even hesitate, pulling back his fist and socking the man in the face. 'Those kids are my brats.' He said to the man who was being held up by the Agents to stop him falling to the ground. 'and threaten them again and you will have me to deal with.'

 

Before Phil turned around and ushered him and his children along. 

 

 

* * *

 

 

 

 

 

They ended up having to take a hire car home, because apparently something had happened to his car. When questioned the children all remained silent, but the smirk on their faces showed they knew exactly what had happened and were unwilling to share that part of the story. But realistically Phil didn't care. 

He had managed to survive the day at work, he hadn't been fired and didn't have to pay damages (that he knew of) plus he got half a day off. Looking around the table at his children as they scoffed down the pizza Phil smiled. Okay so maybe they weren't the best behaved, and they had some weird quirks, but they were his Brats, so that made them alright with him.

 

 

 

 

 


End file.
